Mothers Day

Well for about 8 years now I have grown to really hate this day. For Two reason really.

1)Not because my mother isn't great, it's the exact opposite. But since my mom has become ill with all the different diseases that she has its become a hard day for me. Because its a reminder to me how sometimes life really just isn't fair sometimes. I struggle often with how it's not fair that my mom isn't all there. How I can't call her on this special day or any day for that matter. It's so hard to not be able to talk to her about anything at all or to just simple tell her that I love her and am glad she is my mom.
Don't get me wrong I was very blessed to have had the best relationship with her while growing up and in my early adulthood. I'm so thankful for that time. But it still is hard to remember and be grateful on this day for that short time in my life where it was so perfect. There are just so many days where I would give anything to have my real healthy mom back. Because there is so much she is missing. And days where I just need and want my mom.

This photo was taken in April of this year when I visited Washington. I know its kinda of a sad picture but that is the mom I have and I love her with every ounce of my being!

2)The other reason I dread this day is it isn't any fun going to Church and celebrating once again how I haven't been blessed with children of my own yet. Not a fun reminder at all. We defiantly don't always understand the big picture our Heavenly Father has in store for us.

Some years are harder then others for sure. Last years seemed especially a hard one and I was worried this one would be the same. But like I said Heavenly Father knows what is best and he often sends others to help us.

Since living here in Eastern Tennessee I have been really blessed with some special people in my life. I have an adopted mother here Alice Faye Gold AKA Momma Gold. She really has been such a help to me in those dark and hard times where I just wanted my mom to be there for me. She seems to always know when I need a little pick me up. It is people like Momma Gold and my beautiful Young Women who have helped to make today a great day and one that wasn't hard for once in a very long time. I'm truly grateful for Momma Gold she calls this a day of celebrating womanhood as it should be called. Because we really our celebrating Women in General, ever women's role is a little different and just because I'm not a mother doesn't diminish that fact that I don't have wonderful qualities and the ability to nurture and love those around me. I have the opportunity to really impact and influence the lives of the Young Women of the church and I have seen that a lot. Since being married, going on 9 years this September I have spent a majority of that time working with the beautiful young women of the church. Helping to mold them and teach them of their divine qualities. Over the years I have had several girls now to many to remember all by name but there are always those who stick out in my mind for different reasons. But one in particular who has had an extremely hard life, who has to remain so strong at such a young age who is an example to me. She gave me a beautiful card which she stated she was grateful that I was her adopted mom and that I make an awesome mom! It was so sweet. It helped me realize that I am a Mom (Not a Physical mom)to so many Young Women out there.

So today is a grate day to celebrate Womanhood. I have so many close friends and some family members who are also not mothers yet but they are among some of the finest woman I know. So to you I say lets Celebrate from now on. As Mama Gold wrote in one of her dear letters to me "This is a day to celebrate the many facets of womanhood. I feel blessed to be a woman, especially in the church and during the final days. Sometimes I feel amazed that Heavenly Father chose me to be on earth during this time. As women in the church we have the opportunity to influence our society with so many Christ-like attributes such as virtue, compassion, love, charity... the list can go on and on."

I'm truly blessed with some amazing woman in my life who are all over the world who I think of often for different reasons. Your strength amazes me and gives me a little glimpse of what our Heavenly Father sees in all of us Woman. So Happy Woman's Day!